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an this in any theatre in town, barring the Orpheum, come and tell us about it and we will see what we can do to brace ours up. I don’t believe you can. This show will be repeated every afternoon and evening, with complete change of programme twice a week. Go away and tell your friends about the great free show down nike air max 1 premium on Spring Street. Just tell them about it.”
Bob glanced startled at his companion. Baker was grinning.
“This show has cost us up to date,” went on the leisurely drawl, “just twenty-eight hundred dollars. Go and tell your friends that. _But_”–he suddenly straightened his figure and his voice became more incisive–“that is not enough. We have decided to give you something _real_ to talk about. We have decided to give every man, woman and child in this vast audience a first-night present of T cheap nike air max 1 wo Silver Dollars!”
Bob could feel an electric thrill run through the crowd, and every one sat up a little straighter in his chair.
“Let me see,” the orator went on, running his eye over the audience. He had resumed his quieter manner. “There are perhaps seven hundred people present. That would make fourteen hundred dollars. By the way, John,” he addressed some one briskly. “Close the gates and lock them. We don’t want anybody in on this who didn’t have interest enough in our show to come in the first place.” He winked humorously at the crowd, and several laughed.
“Pretty rotten, eh?” whispered Baker admiringly. “Fixed ’em so they won’t bolt when the show’s over and before he works off his dope.”
“These Two Silver Dollars, which I want you all to get, are in these hampers. Six little boys will distribute them. Come up, boys, and get each a hatful of dollars.” The six solemnly marched up on the stage and busied themselves with the hampers. “While we are waiting,” went on the or air max 1 ator, “I will seize the opportunity to present to you the world-famed discoverer of that wonderful anaesthetic, Oxodyne, Painless Porter.”
At the words a dapper little man in immaculately correct evening dress, and carrying a crush hat under his arm, stepped briskly from the wings. He was greeted by wild but presumably manufactured applause. He bowed rigidly from the hips, and at once began to speak in a high and nasal but extremely penetrating voice.
“As far as advertising is concerned,” he began without preamble, “it is entirely unnecessary that I give this show. There is no man, woman or child in this marvellous commonwealth of ours who is not familiar with the name of Painless Porter, whether from the daily papers, the advertising boards, the street cars, or the elegant red brougham in which I traverse your streets. My work for you is my best advertisement. It is unnecessary from that point of view that I spend this money for this show, or that this extra money should be distributed among you by my colleague, Wizard Walker, the Medical Marvel of Modern Times.”
The tall man paused from his business with the hampers and the six b nike air max 1 ebay oys to bow in acknowledgment.
“No, ladies ‘n’ gentlemen, my purpose is higher. In the breast of each human being is implanted an instinctive fear of Pain. It sits on us like a nightmare, from the time we first come to consciousness of our surroundings. It is a curse of humanity, like drink, and he who can lighten that curse is as much of a philanthropist as George W. Childs or Andrew Carnegie. I want you to go away and talk about me. It don’t matter what you say, just so you say something. You can call me quack, you may call me fakir, you may call me charlatan–but be sure to call me SOMETHING! Then slowly the news wil nike air max 1 l spread abroad that Pain is banished, and I can smile in peace, knowing that my vast expenditures of time and money have not been in vain, and that I have been a benefit to humanity. Wizard Walker, the Medical Marvel of Modern Times, will now attend to the distribution, after which I will pull a few teeth gratis in order to demonstrate to you the wonderful merits of Oxodyne.”
“A dentist!” gasped Bob.
“Yup,” said http://air-maxv1.co.uk/ Baker. “Not much gasoline-torch-on-the-back-lot in his, is there?”
Bob was hardly surprised, after muc air max 1 sale h preamble and heightening of suspense, to find that the Two Silver Dollars turned out finally to be a pink ticket and a blue ticket, “good respectively at the luxurious offices for one dollar’s worth of dental and medical attention FREE.”
Nor was he more than slightly astounded when the back drop rose to show the stage set glitteringly with nickel-mounted dentist chairs and their appurtenances, with shining glass, white linen, and with a chorus of fascinating damsels dressed as trained nurses and standing rigidly at attention. Then entered Painless himself, in snowy shirt-sleeves and serious professional preoccupation. Volunteers came up two by two. Painless explained obscurely the scientific principles on which the marve cheap air max 1 lous Oxodyne wo cheap air max 1 rked–by severing temporarily but entirely all communication between the nerves and the brain. Then much business with a very glittering syringe.
“My lord,” chuckled Baker, “if he fills that thing up, it’ll drown her!”
In an impressive silence Painless flourished the forceps, planted himself square in front of his patient, heaved a moment, and triumphantly held up in full view an undoubted tooth. The trained nurses offered rinses. After a moment the patient, a roughly dressed country woman, arose to her feet. She was smiling broadly, and said something, which the audience could not hear. Painless smiled indulgently.
“Speak up so they can all hear you,” he encouraged her.
“Never hurt a bit,” the woman stammered.
Three more operations were conducted as expeditiously and as successfully. The audience was eviden nike air max 1 leopard tly impressed.
“How does he do it?” whispered Bob.
“Cappers,” explained Baker briefly. “He only fakes pulling a tooth. Watch him next time and you’ll see that he doesn’t actually pull an ounce.”
“Suppose a real toothache comes up?”
“I think that is one now. Watch him.”
A young ranchman was making his way up the steps that led to the stage. His skin was tanned by long exposure to the California sun, and his cheek rounded into an unmistakable swelling.
“No fake about him,” commented Baker.
He seated himself in the chair. Painless examined his jaw carefully. He started back, both hands spread in expostulation.
“My _dear_ friend!” he cried, “you can save that tooth! It would be a crime to pull that tooth! Come to my office at ten to-morrow morning and I will see what can be done.” He turned to the audience and for ten minutes e nike air max 1 grey xpounded the doctrine of modern dentistry as it stands for saving a tooth whenever possible. Incidentally he had much to say as to his skill in filling and bridge work and the marvellous painlessness thereof. The meeting broke up finally to the inspiring strains of a really good band. Bob and his friend, standing near the door, watched the audience file out. Some threw away their pink and blue tickets, but most stowed them carefully away.
“And every one that goes to the ‘luxurious offices’ for the free dollar’s worth will leave ten round iron ones,” said Baker.
After a moment the Painless One and the Wizard marched smartly out, serenely oblivious of the crowd. They stepped into a resplendent red brougham and were whisked rapidly away.
“It pays to advertise,” quoted Baker philosophically.
They moved on up the street.
“There’ nike air max 1 sale s the inventor of the Unlimited Life,” said Baker suddenly, indicating a slender figure approaching. “I haven’t seen him in three years–not since he got into this graft, anyway.”
“Unlimited Life,” echoed Bob, “what’s that? A medicine?”
“No. A cult. Hullo, Sunny!”
The approaching figure swerved and stopped. Bob saw a very slender figure clad in a close-fitting, gray frock suit. To his surprise, from beneath the wide, black felt hat there peered at him the keenly nervous face of the more intelligent mulatto. The man’s eyes were very bright and shrewd. His hair surrounded his face as an aureole of darkness, and swept low to his coat collar.
“Mr. Baker,” he said, simply, his eyes inscrutable.
“Well, Sunny, this is my old friend Bob Orde. Bob, this is the world-famous Sunny Larue, apostle of the Unlimited Life of whom you’ve he nike air max 1 red ard so much.” He winked at Bob. “How’s the Colony flourishing, Sunny?”
“More and more our people are growing to see the light,” said the mulatto in low, musical tones. “The mighty but simple principles of Azamud are coming into their own. The poor and lowly, the humble and oppressed are learning that in me is their salvation–.” He went on in his beautiful voice explaining the Colony of the Unlimited Life, addressing always Bob directly and paying little attention to Baker, who stood aside, his hands in his pockets, a smile on his fat, good-natured face. It seemed that the Colony lived in tents in a canon of the foothills. It paid Larue fifty dollars a head, and in return was supported for six months and instructed in the mysteries of the cult. It had its regimen. “At three we arise and break our fast, quite simply, with th nike air max 1 black ree or four dry prunes,” breathed Larue, “and then, going forth to the high places for one hour, we hold steadfast the thought of Love.”
“Say, Sunny,” broke in Baker, “how many you got

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