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Both candidates are very ambitious men; both profess to be the people’s champion-the sovereign people-the dear people-the noble-hearted people-the iron-handed, unbribable, unterrified democracy-the people from whom all power springs. The never-flinching, unterrified, irresistible democracy are smothered with encomiums of praise, sounding from all parts of the room. Mr. Lawrence M’Fadden is ushered into the room to the great joy of his friends: being a very great man among the loyal voters, his appearance produces great excitement.
Several friends of the candidates, working for their favourites, are making themselves very humble in their behalf. Although there is little care for maintaining any fundamental principle of government that does not serve his own pocket, Mr. M’Fadden can and will control a large number of votes, do a deal of knocking down at the polls, and bring up first-rate fighting men to do the k cheap nike air max eeping away the opposite’s constituents. Thus our man, who has lately been bought as preacher, is most useful in this our little democratic world.
Some two or three hundred persons have collected near a clump of trees on the lawn, and are divided into knots intermixed with ruffian-looking desperadoes, dressed most coarsely and fantastically. They are pitting their men, after the fashion of good horses; then they b nike air max 1 oldly draw forth and expose the minor delinquencies of opposing candidates. Among them are the “Saw- piters,” who affect an air of dignity, and scout the planter’s offer of work so long as a herring runs the river; the “piny woods-man,” of great independence while rabbits are found in the woods, and he can wander over the barren unrestrained; and the “Wire-Grass-Men;” and the Crackers,
Singular species of gypsies, found throughout the State. who live anywhere and everywhere, and whom the government delights to keep in ignorance, while declaring it much better they were enslaved. The State possesses many thousands of these people; but few of them can read, while never having written a stroke in their lives is a boast. Continually armed with double-barrel guns, to hunt the panting buck is one of their sports; to torture a run nike air max 90 away negro is another; to make free with a planter’s corn field is the very best. The reader may imagine this picture of lean, craven faces-unshaven and made fiercely repulsive by their small, treacherous eyes, if he can. It can only be seen in these our happy slave states of our happy Union.
The time draws near when the candidates will come forward, address the sovereign constituency, and declare their free and open principles-their love of liberal governments, and their undying affection for the great truths of democracy. The scene, as the time approaches, becomes more and more animated. All are armed to the teeth, with the symbol of honour–something so called–beneath their coarse doublets, or in the waistbands of their pantaloons. The group evinces so much excitement that belligerents are well nigh coming to blows; in cheap nike air max trainers fact, peace is only preserved by the timely appearance of the landlord, who proclaims that unless order be preserved until after the candidates have addressed them, the next barrel of whiskey will positively “not be tapped.” He could not use a more effectual argument. Mr. M’Fadden, who exercises great authority over the minions under him, at this announcement mounts the top of an empty whiskey barrel, and declares he will whip the “whole crowd,” if they do not cease to wage their political arguments.
While the above cursory remarks and party sparrings are going on, some forty negroes are seen busily employed preparing the indispensable adjuncts of the occasion-the meats. Here, beneath the clump of trees, a few yards from the grocery and justices’ office, the candidates’ tables are being spread with cold meats, crackers, bread and cheese, cigars, &c., &c. As soon as the gentlemen candidates have delivered themselves of their sentiments, two barrels of real “straight-back” whiskey will be added.
“This is the way we puts our candidate through, down south, ye see, fellers, voters: it’s we what’s the bone and siners o’ the rights o’ the south. It’s we what’s got t’ take the slow-coach politics out o’ the hands o’ them ar’ old harristocrats what don’t think them ar’ northern abolitionists han’t goin to do nothin. It’s we, fellow citizens, what puts southern-rights principles clean through; it’s we what puts them ar’ old Union haristocrats, what spiles all the nigger property, into the straight up way o’ doing things! Now, feller voters, free and independent citizens-freemen who have fought for freedom,–you, whose old, grey-headed fathers died for freedom! it takes you t’ know what sort a thing freedom is; and how to enjoy it so niggers can’t take it away from you! I’ze lived north way, know how it is! Yer jist the chaps to put niggers straight,–to vote for my man, Colonel Mohpany,” Mr. M’Fadden cries out at the very top of his voice, as he comes rushing out of the tavern, edging his way through the crowd, followed by the two candidates. The gentlemen look anxiously good-natured; they walk together to the rostrum, followed by a crowd, measuring their way to the assembly through the darling affections of our free and independent voters. Gossamer citizenship, this!
As they reach the rostrum, a carriage is seen in the distance, approaching in great haste. All attention being directed to it, the first candidate, Colonel Mohpany, mounts the stump, places his right hand in his bosom, and pauses as if to learn who it brings. To the happy consolation of Mr. M’Fadden and his friends, it bears Mr. Scranton the philosopher. Poor Mr. Scranton looks quite worn out with anxiety; he has come all the way from the city, prepared with the very best kind of a southern-rights speech, to relieve his friend, General Vardant, who is not accustomed to public declamation. The General is a cunning fellow, fears the stump accomplishments of his antagonist, and has secured the valuable services of philosopher Scranton. Mr. S. will tell the constituency, in very logical phraseology,–making the language suit the sentiments of his friends,–what principles must be maintained; how the General depends upon the soundness of their judgment to sustain him; how they are the bone and sinews of the great political power of the South; how their hard, uncontrastable appearance, and their garments of similar primitiveness, are emblematic of the iron firmness of their democracy. Mr. Scranton will further assure them that their democracy is founded on that very accommodating sort of freedom which will be sure to keep all persons of doubtful colour in slavery.
Mr. Scranton arrives, receives the congratulations of his friends, gets the negroes to brush him down,–for it is difficult to distinguish him from a pillar of dust, save that we have his modest eyes for assurances-takes a few glasses of moderate mixture, and coolly collects his ideas. The mixture will bring out Mr. Scranton’s philosophical facts: and, now that he has got his face and beard cleanly washed, he will proceed to the stand. Here he is received with loud cheering; the gentleman is a great man, all the way from the city. Sitting on a chair he is sorry was made at the north, he exhibits a deal of method in taking from his pocket a long cedar pencil, with which he will make notes of all Colonel Mohpany’s loose points.
The reader, we feel assured, will excuse us for not following Colonel Mohpany through his speech, so laudatory of the patriotism of his friends, so much interrupted by applause. The warm manner in which his conclusion is received assures him that he now is the most popular man in the State. Mr. Scranton, armed with his usually melancholy countenance, rises to the stump, makes his modestly political bow, offers many impressive apologies for the unprepared state in which he finds himself, informs his hearers that he appears before them only as a substitute for his very intimat nike air max 90 sale e and particular friend, General Vardant. He, too, has a wonderful prolixity of compliments to bestow upon the free, the patriotic, the independent voters of the very independent district. He tries to be facetious; but his temperament will not admit of any inconsistencies, not even in a political contest. No! he must be serious; because the election of a candida te to so high an office is a serious affair. So he will tell the “Saw-pit men” a great deal about their noble sires; how they lived and died for liberty; how the tombstones of immortality are emblazoned with the fame of their glorious deeds. And he will tell these glorious squatters what inalienable rights they possess; how they must be maintained; and how they have always been first to maintain the principle of keeping “niggers” in their places, and resisting those mischievous propagators of northern villainy-abolitionists. He will tell the deep-thinking saw-pit voters how it has been charged against them that they were only independent once a year, and that was when herrings run up the Santee river. Such a gross sland leopard print nike blazers er Mr. Scranton declares to be the most impious. They were always independent; and, if they were poor, and preferred to habit themselves in primitive garbs, it was only because they preferred to be honest! This, Mr. Scranton, the northern philosopher, asserts with great emphasis. Yes! they are honest; and honest patriots are always better than rich traitors. From the san-pit men, Mr. Scranton, his face distended with eloquence, turns to his cracker and “wire-grass” friends, upon whom he bestows most piercing compliments. Their lean mules-the speaker laughs at his own wit-and pioneer waggons always remind him of the go nike air max 95 od old times, when he was a boy, and everybody was so honest it was unnecessary even to have such useless finery as people put on at the present day. A word or two, very derogatory of the anti-slavery people, is received with deafening applause. Of the descendants of the Huguenots he says but little; they are few, rich, and very unpopular in this part of the little sovereign state. And he quite forgot to tell thi leopard print nike s unlettered mass of a sovereign constituency the true cause of their poverty and degradation. Mr. Scranton, however, in one particular point, which is a vital one to the slave-ocracy, differs with the ungovernable Romescos,–he would not burn all common schools, nor scout all such trash as schoolmasters.
In another part of Mr. Scranton’s speech he enjoins them to be staunch supporters of men known to be firm to the south, and who would blow up every yankee who came south, and refused to declare his sentiments to be for concession. “You!”-he points round him to the grotesque crowd-“were first to take a stand and keep niggers down; to keep them where they can’t turn round and enslave you! Great Britain, fell ercitizens,”-Mr. Scranton begins to wax warm; he adjusts his coat sleeves, and draws himself into a tragic attitude a nike air max sale s he takes his tobacco from his mouth, seemingly unconscious of his own enthusiasm-I say Great Britain-” A sudden interruption is caused. Mr. Scranton’s muddled quid, thrown with such violence, has bedaubed the cheek of an admiring saw-pitter, whose mind was completely absorbed in his eloquence. He was listening with breathless suspense, and only saved its admission in his capacious mouth by closing it a few seconds before.
“Sarved him just right; keep on, Colonel!” exclaims Mr. M’Fadden. He takes the man by the arm, pushes him aside, and makes a slight bow to Mr. Scranton. He would have him go on.
“Great Britain-feller citizens, I say-was first to commence the warfare against nigger slavery; and now she is joining the north to seek its permanent overthrow. She is a monster tyrant wherever she sets her foot-I say! (Three c leopard print nike air max heers for that.) She contributed to fasten the curse upon us; and now she wants to destroy us by taking it away according to the measures of the northern abolitionists-fanaticism! Whatever the old school southerner neglects to do for the preservation of the peculiar institution, we must do for him! And we, who have lived at the north, can, with your independent support, put the whole thing through a course of political crooks.” Again Mr. Scranton pauses; surveys his assembly of free and independent citizens.
“That we can: I knows what fanatics down east be!” rejoins Mr. M’Fadden, shaking his head very knowingly. He laughs with an air of great satisfaction, as much as to say that, with such northern philosophers to do the championism of slavery in the south, all the commercial relations for which northern merchants are under so many obligations to slave-labour, will be perfe nike air max ctly safe. But Mr. Scranton has drawn out his speech to such an uncommon length, that the loquacious M’Fadden is becoming decidedly wearied. His eyes begin to glow languid, and the lids to close,–and now he nods assent to all Mr. Scranton’s sayings, which singularly attracts the attention of that orator’s hearers. The orator becomes very much annoyed at this, suddenly stops-begs Mr. M’Fadden will postpone his repose. This, from so great a man as Mr. Scranton, is accepted as provokingly witty. Mr. M’Fadden laughs; and they all laugh. The gentleman will continue his speech.
“The South must come out; must establish free trade, direct trade,–trade that will free her from her disreputable association with the North. She can do it!” Mr. Scranton wipes his forehead with his white pocket-handkerchief.
“Ain’t we deeply indebted to the North?” a voice in the crowd cries out.
“Well! nike air max classic what if we are? Can’t we offset the debts on the principles of war? Let it go against the injury of abolition excitements!” Mr. Scranton makes a theatrical flourish with his right hand, and runs the fingers of his left through his crispy hair, setting it on end like quills on a porcupine’s back. Three long and loud cheers follow, and the gentleman is involuntarily compelled to laugh at his own singular sayings. “The South must hold conventions; she must enforce constitutional guarantees; she must plant herself in the federal capital, and plead her cause at the bar of the world. She will get a hearing there! And she must supplant that dangerous engine of abolition, now waging war against our property, our rights, our social system.” Thus concluding, Mr. Scranton sits down, very much fatigued from his mental effervescence, yet much lighter from having relieved himself of his speech, amidst a storm of applause. Such a throwing cheap nike air max up of hats and slouches, such jostling, abetting, and haranguing upon the merits of the candidates, their speeches and their sentiments, never was heard or seen before.
Mine host now mounts the stand to make the welcome announcement, that, the speeches being over, the eating entertainments are ready. He hopes the friends of the candidates will repair to the tables, and help themselves without stint or restraint. As they are on the point of rushing upon the tables, Colonel Mohpany suddenly jumps up, and arrests the progress of the group by intimating that he has one word more to say. That word is, his desire to inform the bone and sinew of the constituency that his opponent belongs to a party which once declared in the Assembly that they-the very men who stand before him now-were a dangerous class unless reduced to slavery! The Colonel has scarcely delivered himself of this very clever charge, when the tables, a few yards distant, are surrounded by promiscuous friends and foes, who help themselves after the fashion most advantageous. All rules of etiquette are unceremoniously dispensed with,–he who can secure most is the best diplomatist. Many find their mouths so inadequate to the temptation of the feast, that they improve on Mr. Scranton’s philosophy by making good use of their ample pockets. Believe us, reader, the entertainment is the essential part of the candidate’s political virtue, which must be measured according to the extent of his cold meats and very bad whiskey.
To carry out the strength of General Vardant’s principles, several of his opponent’s friends are busily employed in circulating a report that his barrel of whiskey has been “brought on” only half full. A grosser slander could not have been invented. But the report gains circulation so fast, that his meats and drinks are mischievously absorbed, and the demonstration of his unpopular position begins to be manifest. The candidates, unflinching in their efforts, mix with the medley, have the benefit of the full exercise of free thought and action, hear various opinions upon “the Squire’s chances,” and listen to the chiming of high-sounding compliments. While this clanging of merry jargon is at its highest, as if by some magic influence Romescos makes his appearance, and immediately commences to pit sides with Mr. M’Fadden. With all Romescos’ outlawry, he is tenacious of his southern origin; and he will assert its rights against Mr. M’Fadden, whom he declares to be no better than a northern humbug, taking advantage of southern institutions. To him all northerners are great vagabonds, having neither principles nor humanity in their composition; he makes the assertion emphatically, without fear or trembling; and he calls upon his friends to sustain him, that he may maintain the rights of the South. Those rights Romescos asserts, and re-asserts, can only be preserved by southern men-not by sneaking northerners, who, with their trade, pocket their souls. Northerners are great men for whitewashing their faces with pretence! Romescos is received with considerable ?clat. He declares, independently, that Mr. Scranton too is no less a sheer humbug of the same stripe, and whose humbugging propensities make him the humble servant of the south so long as he can make a dollar by the bemeaning operation. His full and unmeasured appreciation of all this northern-southern independence is here given to the world for the world’s good. And he wants the world to particularly understand, that the old southerner is the only independent man, the only true protector of humanity! ③

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